TapSlave to the Beep

2am. Beep. I’m sure if you hammer on the door loud enough, someone will wake up and let you in. Ah, a light has gone on, this is an ideal time to question your housemate’s parentage. He will probably still let you in if you keep banging on the door long enough.

2:30am. Beep. What a great time to ring your best mate. How considerate of you to the rest of the household; rather than wake them all up you will go onto the front steps. Of course it is a long way to Ipswich so you will need to speak up. I’m glad that you had a good time with your friends and I hope Karen gets back together with her boy friend.

3am. Beep. It’s much easier to walk down the middle of the road when you have had a few drinks; those wing mirrors and wheely bins do keep getting in the way. You and your mates seems to have had a great night out at the clubs but I’ll never get to know you because you don’t seem to live in this street; at least you don’t think so.

3:30am. Beep. Hey, do you know what happened down the Centre. You must have needed to get out very quick so you borrowed a car. Yes, we can see you under that railway bridge, these thermal cameras are very good. Just sit tight ’till we get a few more blokes and we will make sure you come quietly. The other guy may be out of casualty by the morning but you won’t be seeing daylight for some time. It’s a pity these helicopters are so noisy, it is hard to hear the radio.

4am. Beep. What is that noise. It sounds like it is in the room. It can’t be the alarm, it’s much too early. Did I leave the phone off the hook? Ah! my mobile needs charging. Whether I put it on charge or throw it out of the window I will have to get up else it will keep beeping all night.

6:30am. What’s all that noise. Oh, the radio has come on. Time to get up.

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