Order of the Bath

The publication today of a new bill “Safeguarding Vulnerable Groups” sets me thinking again about the perilous state of justice in this country. I am not fully conversant with all the rules but am clear on what principles ought to apply. These are

• No punishment without a conviction, and this includes being placed on a register. Being “known to the police” is not a conviction. (Education Secretary, Ruth) “Kelly announced that in future, cautions for more minor sex offences would be treated in the same way as convictions—both would lead to a ban on working with children.” This is not justice.
• Punishment in proportion to the crime, which does not include being put on a list for life after a minor misdemeanour. Now a parent may say that they wouldn’t want a pervert teaching their child. But if that conviction was for Indecent Exposure, and when you look at it closely, is actually for urinating in a public place whilst a drunk student, then is a lifelong of vilification on a Sex Offenders Register proportional punishment?

Even in more serious cases, the law generally allows for repentance; it is a requirement for Christian Society. I’m sure that there used to be a system that all relatively minor sentences (I think the figure was less than a five year prison tariff) would be wiped from the slate after a period of time. This needs to be applied across the board for, what hope does an offender have if there is no prospect for them to start again.

“Barred individuals will have a right of appeal.” but that is too late, the damage has been done by then.

Finally, I see from the news report, that “Parents for the first time will be able to check online the barred status when they’re employing a nanny or a music teacher” according to Children’s Minister, Beverley Hughes. This again raises loads of questions about identity, security and accuracy. The new guy upstairs is advertising piano lessons, let’s check to see if he is going to molest our kids, what was his name again?

Banks are making it very difficult to open accounts these days—something to do with money laundering they say. One of the things that they may ask for is your National Insurance Number. Don’t give it to them! According to a Direct Government webpage

The only people you should ever give your NI number to are:

• HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC)
• your employer
• Jobcentre Plus, if you claim Jobseeker’s Allowance
• your local council, if you claim Housing Benefit

Entitlement to many benefits depends on your National Insurance contribution record (see ‘Benefits that depend on NICs’ below) so it’s very important not to give your number to anyone else.

Another favourite idea is to put on record some significant questions and your answers so that when you telephone them they can repeat these questions back and so prove that you are who you say you are. This can be very dangerous if the answers to these questions become known (and they are not very imaginitive). The solution is to lie. They will never know if your mother’s maiden name was Smith, Jones or Robinson.

The preparation notes for our holiday say

l) Follow the simple daily service schedule.

Would that be Matins or do we have to do the whole Eucharist?

This started as a short project to exploit the 40+ years of copies of the magazines that I have on my top shelf but then I started to look at some of the older editions. I only have two in my collection (one each from 1876 and 1896) but the information is available via a search. This starter article brings all of this together. I will update it if I discover anything else but, soon anyway, I will start the original project to document the covers from the mid 1950’s.

It’s a nice sunny day, the sky is blue, the trees are green, the road is yellow, red, blue, green and silver—it’s playmobile land! No, the road markers have been out and the men with pneumatic drills are coming your way.

Health alert—this is a seriously anorak posting.

• Yellow marks and it is Gas. If there are piles of big thick yellow plastic pipes nearby then it is serious gas and you will be disrupted for weeks with yellow diggers and men in yellow jackets and yellow hats. Everything about gas is yellow; except the gas.
• Blue marks and it is water. The water boys are clever. They have ways of slipping a new plastic pipe inside the old iron one. That means fewer holes in the road.
• Red marks and it is electricity. Lots of red marks with big numbers by them and it means high voltage electricity, maybe replacing a substation or something. Get in a stock of candles.
• Grey/Silver or Green marks and it is communications. Silver is normally used by BT and green by the cable TV people. They can often do their job using a mole so very small holes but there will be men with a tent over a manhole cover drinking tea for weeks.
• Orange corrugated pipes and it is street lighting. Expect to be going home in the dark for a while but when they have finished you will be unable to tell night from day.
• Purple corrugated pipes and it is motorway services like phones and information signs. That will mean lane closures to keep you away from the hard shoulders and verges for quite some time. Look out for those 40mph cameras.
• Marks like someone has been playing with the paintbox all over the road in every possible colour usually means drains work. They have to get every one to tell them where their ducts go because they dig such large holes that it disturbs everything. Expect roads to close completely for long periods. Also expect a nasty smell.

But, while they are there, you could make a note of the marks nearby. It may come in useful later when your garden has sprouted a new water fountain.

Victim: You
Perpetrator: Royal Mail

I went into the Post Office near the factory this lunchtime to post a delayed Christmas present to friends in the Netherlands. I didn’t realise until later that I had paid over £1 more than the same parcel last time (the exact same parcel, that is another story but not Royal Mail’s fault.) This is why.

When you present your parcel they put it on the scales and read the address and punch it all into a machine which prints a label (no stamps these days unless you make a point of asking for them.) What (most) counter clerks will not mention is that if you write the words “SMALL PACKET” in the top left near the Airmail sticker then the cost is around 40% less. The only restriction is a 2Kg weight limit and you can’t enclose a personal letter—put it in with the card and send it separately.

This only applies to packets going overseas, but you do need to think about it in advance. There is probably something about it on the Royal Mail website but they don’t make it obvious and it is easy to forget, as I did.

I wonder how much they make out of us each year that way?

For that matter, why the different prices, it must cost them the same amount to deliver it!

There is a joke that says that Americans think that Scotland is part of England and is that anywhere near London? But it is true that most of the world doesn’t understand how the UK works—and come to think of it, many British don’t really understand it either.

Before I start, let’s be clear. I am talking about how things are for most administrative purposes, not how there were or how they should be. There are some anomalies and I will mention a few in passing.

• First there are countries: like England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. These are roughly what you would call States in the USA or Provinces in Canada but we call them Countries. They don’t really exist in the international arena except for a few sporting competitions like cricket and rugby.
• England includes the Isle of White and Lundy, a few other small islets but not the Isle of Man. It does not have its own parliament but hosts the seat of government for the whole union.
• (The principality of) Wales includes Ynys Môn (Anglesey). It has its own language and is known as Cymru in that tongue. There is a Welsh Assembly which adopts some aspects of a parliament.
• Scotland includes the Western Isles, the Shetlands and Orkney. Local banks issue their own banknotes but Sterling is also used (and to some extent vice-versa). There is a Gaelic language which is strong in some areas. There is a separate Scottish Parliament which makes local laws and the legal system is different to England and Wales.
• Northern Ireland separated from the whole of Ireland in the 1920’s and forms the north-eastern counties (9 of them?). The remainder is an independent country called Eire which is part of the European Union. There is a Northern Ireland Assembly but it is currently dissolved pending some political discussion. I certainly will not be debating its status or the status of Northern Ireland here.
• Cornwall (which includes the Isles of Scilly), for administrative purposes, is part of England. Whether it should be or not I won’t debate here. It has its own language which is growing but still not widely used.
• For some purposes, England and Wales are treated as one unit—in particular the legal system.
• Great Britain is the union of England, Wales and Scotland created in the C18th.
• The United Kingdom is Great Britain plus Northern Ireland.
• Then there are the satellites—I am not sure what the proper term is. These are separate countries for many purposes like economy but part of the UK for others like defence. These are the Isle of Man, the British Channel Islands which form two states—the States of Jersey (plural for some reason) and the Bailiwick of Guernsey which includes Alderney, Sark and Herm. They each have their own currency (but tied to Sterling), parliament and tax laws and are not part of the European Union. This creates no end of confusion with Customs and Excise when traveling. Their status is similar to the relationship between the Canary Islands and Spain. I have no idea what the status of Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands is, nor the few remaining colonies.

Some anomalies—the Pound Sterling (£) which is the currency for the whole of the UK has the designation GBP which is wrong. For some sporting purposes, Ireland competes as a whole, I think rugby is one.