Order of the Bath

A quick guide.

If the background to this screen is white you’ve got the screen TURNED UP TOO BRIGHT! It should be pale yellow—like ivory writing paper.

Professor Phil Jones, of UEA’s Climatic Research Unit, tells us: “This year sees the highest average temperature recorded since the Central England Temperature series began in 1659, and the rise above the average is significantly higher than that for the two hottest years we have experienced.”

(BBC)
Although the thermometer was invented near the start of the C17th (probably by Galileo), my query is, what did they measure in 1659? Gabriel Fahrenheit wasn’t born until 1684 and René Réaumur in 1683 so those scales hadn’t been invented. Presumably the results were written down somewhere and can now be converted into modern units. The results are noted on the Met Office site but it doesn’t say how it was done.

2am. Beep. I’m sure if you hammer on the door loud enough, someone will wake up and let you in. Ah, a light has gone on, this is an ideal time to question your housemate’s parentage. He will probably still let you in if you keep banging on the door long enough.

2:30am. Beep. What a great time to ring your best mate. How considerate of you to the rest of the household; rather than wake them all up you will go onto the front steps. Of course it is a long way to Ipswich so you will need to speak up. I’m glad that you had a good time with your friends and I hope Karen gets back together with her boy friend.

3am. Beep. It’s much easier to walk down the middle of the road when you have had a few drinks; those wing mirrors and wheely bins do keep getting in the way. You and your mates seems to have had a great night out at the clubs but I’ll never get to know you because you don’t seem to live in this street; at least you don’t think so.

3:30am. Beep. Hey, do you know what happened down the Centre. You must have needed to get out very quick so you borrowed a car. Yes, we can see you under that railway bridge, these thermal cameras are very good. Just sit tight ’till we get a few more blokes and we will make sure you come quietly. The other guy may be out of casualty by the morning but you won’t be seeing daylight for some time. It’s a pity these helicopters are so noisy, it is hard to hear the radio.

4am. Beep. What is that noise. It sounds like it is in the room. It can’t be the alarm, it’s much too early. Did I leave the phone off the hook? Ah! my mobile needs charging. Whether I put it on charge or throw it out of the window I will have to get up else it will keep beeping all night.

6:30am. What’s all that noise. Oh, the radio has come on. Time to get up.

The news this morning is full of commentary on the probability that the European Court will declare that Excise Duty should be paid at source even for transactions across member country’s borders. This means that if I buy wine (for personal use) on the internet from a French dealer then I will pay French tax and duty, not British. Some of the implications of this, which also applies to tobacco, are being discussed e.g. the lower price paid by the purchaser, the impact on the local retailer, the death of the traditional Booze Cruise trips to Calais and also the impact on the Exchequer. Here are a few other effects that have not been mentioned.

• Another subject for the spammers to get their hooks into.
• Many people already buy from mail order dealers so unless they move sharply, the loss to their trade; one I know has only just moved its distribution from one location in the UK to another. I would imagine that specialist sales companies will be established, probably subsidiaries of the existing mail order retailers. I don’t think buying direct from the vineyard will be commonplace.
• Another market for the scammers and dodgy web sites.
• The extra workload on Customs and Excise and police checking that it is “for personal use”—even more of a problem since their income will have dried up.
• The removal of the tax disincentive which has been used for many years to dissuade people from smoking and to a lesser extent drinking.
• In theory the same ruling would apply to motor fuel but I can’t think of a practical way to arrange personal imports.
• If the ruling comes into effect immediately, consider the rush for Christmas.
• There is the possibility of theft en route. The transport is likely to be of lower security than bulk imports by dealers and, because it is the purchaser’s responsibility, will need to be insured by them.
• The increased transport costs and impact; for example consider the export of Scotch to a low tax EU county only to be purchased by mail order to be sent to a Glasgow customer.

The principle task for an interviewee on the Today program is to get John Humphrys to understand what you are talking about. I congratulate the spokesman from NO2ID for achieving that delicate task, this morning when he clearly explained the problems with the new RFID passports with no hype or ranting.

Thanks, too, to Michael for sending me a link to a very funny, but disturbing piece of fiction. Unfortunately I can’t find it now; Perhaps if I ask nicely he will post it in a comment here.

If David Cameron had made a speech in which he referred to Patricia Hewitt as “Quite pretty but a lightweight” there would have been an uproar and shouts of “sexist”. The speaker would probably have had to suspend the sitting whilst order was restored; the fallout may have affected his chances in the next election. But it seems that when the situation is reversed then it is quite acceptable; there was barely a murmur when she patronised him in that manner. Perhaps this is an indication that non-PC language is now acceptable, and I say three cheers to that.